The Puppycat Wakes
(CARROLLTON – Cradle of Civilization) The Puppycat is peacefully snoozing, in comes the nurse. “We need to wake her up now. Mrs. Connolly, (aside to me) how do you usually call her?”
I stand, approach the sleeping Puppycat, stroke her head and say, “Puppycat!” I lightly jostle her shoulder, and say again, “Puppycat!” Her eyes open, she stares at me, I can see recognition slowly happening, then, “Is it over?” she asks. “Yes.” “Wow, I don’t remember even being rolled out.” I smile at her. “How’d I do?” The nurse says, “Fine, you did really good.”
Puppycat is hungry
The original prepping nurse appears in the doorway – Puppycat sees her and asks, “Are you here to rescue me?” “No just checking on you.” “I’m hungry right now.” “I’ll send someone. You OK, any pain or discomfort?”
Puppycat looks at her as if she just walked in, “I’m hungry.” The nurse and I laugh. “We’ll get you something.”
A few moments later another nurse comes in, “Would you like water, juice, or a coke?”
“Do you want soda crackers or graham crackers?”
“ummm,” – the Puppycat is pensive – “ummm.”
Chuckling, “I’ll bring both.”
A couple of minutes go by, Puppycat says, “I’m ready to go home right now.” “Well first you need to eat and drink something, they have to unhook you from all that, and we haven’t seen the doctor yet.”
Just then the nurse returns with a Shasta Cola, some saltines, and some Teddy Grahams. The Puppycat watches with feral interest as the nurse carefully unwraps the crackers.
“These look like teddy bears! I like teddy bears!”
“They go good with the saltines, sweet, salty, crunchy, kind of like kettle corn,” says the nurse.
The Puppycat bites the head off a hapless teddy bear.
Moments later, after playfully eating four teddy bears, the Puppycat announces, “I could live on coca cola and Teddy Graham’s.” And then:
“I have a growler monkey in my stomach.”
“Tomorrow’s my birthday.”
Out in the hallway, we hear two nurses conversing, “She’s ready to go, but we need her to finish her crackers and they still haven’t seen the doctor.”
“No! I’m ready to go NOW! I need a ribeye steak.” She turns to me and says, “Next time I do something like this will someone wake me up with Teddy Graham’s?” As the nurse comes in the Puppycat says, “I’ve never seen these before, they’re cute! We’re going to Mama’s Daughter’s diner!” “Oh, I love that place.” “Me too.”
The nurse comes around and starts disconnecting the Puppycat. “Let’s get you untangled from all this – and you can take off those EKG leads.”
Excitedly, “Do they have small animals on them?”
Laughing, “No, they don’t.”
“Well they should. Or you could make them blue and pink. And the wires. Then they would look like octopuses.” The Puppycat smiles at me, “Blue and pink octopuses.” The nurse laughs, says something about anesthesia, and leaves the room.
The Doctor comes in, tells us everything looks great, no issues whatsoever, and that we’ll screen again in 10 years.
The Puppycat Dresses
Singing, “Do you know the way to San Jose,,, You have to dress me, or my socks will be inside out. My face itches.” Sing song voice, “10, 9, 8… 7, 6, 5… 4, but they kept me warm,” pointing at her socks. She then picks up a shoe and pretends she is going to bite it, waiting and watching for my reaction.
“You are goofy cute today.”
“Anesthesia. OK, let’s go.”
A nurse comes to walk us out. “I’m having chicken fried steak,” says the Puppycat.